Mr. Haskell and the Memorial Union

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<h1 style="color: white;">1985 Iowa State University</h1> <<timed 1s>> Your friend has joined the chat. <</timed>> <<audio "typing" play loop>> <<timed 3s>> >Willard J. Haskell says: >>Dude, this mechanical engineering degree is such a joke. Way too easy. I could have done this in less than 2 years. The professors don’t even know what computers are even capable of. <</timed>> <<timed 7s>> >Friend says: >>It’s just one more week, man. You’ve been complaining about this for the last year. We are almost done. 1 more week. If it’s so easy, the finals shouldn’t be too difficult for you. <</timed>> <<timed 10s>> >Friend says: >>Wanna get something to eat? <</timed>> <<timed 13s>> >Willard J. Haskell says: >>Yeah, meet at the MU in 15. <</timed>> <<timed 14s>> [[..........travel to ISU Memorial Union to meet your friend........|1985-MU]] <</timed>>

<<audio "typing" stop>> <image src="img/Memorial_Union_1941.jpg"/> You meet your friend at the MU for lunch. Looking around you see Lake LaVerne and the two ISU Swans, Lacellot and Elaine, the other students milling around and overall enjoying the sunny Spring day. "I can't wait to fly out of this berg!" You say to no-one in particular as your friend greets you. Entering the North entrance, you follow your friend in who skirts the embossed Zodiac on the floor. Your friend calls back: "You know what they say, walk around or fail your next exam." For a second you pause debating... [[1. Call out in response: “"Pfft! Superstitions are for old ladies and ignoramuses like you." And continue directly into the MU|scorpio_revenge_arc-1]] [[2. Walk around the Zodiac|scorpio_revenge_arc-2]]

<img src="img/scorp - zod.jpg"/> Stepping cockily onto the Zodiac you dig your heels into the Scorpian. You hate bugs. Especially ones with stingers. [[Silly superstitions....|scorpio_revenge]]

<img src="img/best zodiac.jpg"/> Heeding your friend’s advice for once, you walk around the Zodiac, but trip on the raised embossed symbology. Embarrassed, and mumbling expletives you stamp repeatedly into Scorpio. You hate bugs. Especially ones with stingers. And even more especially ones what make you look like a clumsy idiot in front of your friends. [[Enjoy your meal...|scorpio_revenge]]

Willard J. Haskell has joined the chat. <<audio "typing" play loop>> <<timed 3s>> Willard J. Haskell says: > Dude, I failed. What the hell! <</timed>> <<timed 5s>> Friend says: > Failed what? <</timed>> <<timed 8s>> Willard J. Haskell says: > My Computer Engineering exam, idiot. <</timed>> <<timed 11s>> Friend says: > Sorry, man. Guess it wasn’t so easy after all :) <</timed>> <<timed 13s>> Willard J. Haskell says: > ...... <</timed>> <<timed 15s>> Willard J. Haskell says: > I’ll fix them. <</timed>> <<timed 16s>> [[Willard J. Haskell signed off.|change-grade]] <</timed>>

<<audio "typing" stop>> Using your amazingly advanced computer skills, you hack into the campus grade database and find your transcript. <hr/> <div class="comp1985"> Williard J. Haskell -- {Computer Engineering 314} -- Grade F What do you change your final exam grade to? [[A+|fast-forward]] [[A|fast-forward]] [[A-|fast-forward]] </div>

Sighing, you pack your bag. Yet another trip between headquarters. It’s always the longest drive from Chicago to Omaha with no reason to stop in-between. On your way out the door, you check your mail and notice an ISU Allumni Association letter. Holding it up to the light you see large lettering. "**You’ve WON!!**" That's all you can make out. You didn’t join a raffle or competition. What is this about? 1. [[Open the letter|present-day-MU]] 2. [[Toss the letter in your bag and walk out the door, grabbing your coffee.|hwy80]]

<div class="letter"> June 6, 2020 >Congratulations Mr. Haskell, You’ve Won!! Compliments of the ISU Alumni Foundation, you have been awarded one free night at the ISU Memorial Union with all the comforts we can provide in our executive suite. </div> <div> [[You haven't been back to the old place - should definitely check it out after all these years|enter-the-MU]] </div>

Coffee does this every time. It breaks up your day with bathroom breaks. Pulling over at the Interstate 80 Truck Stop, you make a pit-stop. Lurching back into your Mercedes, you recall the letter you threw into your bag earlier that day. Opening the letter you read: >June 6, 2020 >>Congratulations Mr. Haskell, You’ve Won!! Compliments of the ISU Alumni Foundation, you have been awarded one free night at the ISU Memorial Union with all the comforts we can provide in our executive suite. It’s later in the day that you had hoped, so perhaps another stop in Ames would be a nice change of pace from your usual drive through. [[It’s been years since you were back at your alma mater.|enter-the-MU]]

<<audio "thunder" play loop>> Finally, after a long day of travel, you've arrived at the Iowa State Memorial Union. Looking over your shoulder you are pleased with your timing - in the distance purple clouds are gathering. [[Continue to ISU Memorial Union Hotel check-in|hotel check-in]]

<<cacheaudio "thunder" "audio/2_Minute_Thunderstorm-Mike_Koenig-574654058_01.mp3">> <<cacheaudio "typing" "audio/537244__georgehopkins__mechanical-keyboard-typing.mp3">> <<cacheaudio "gameover" "audio/266163__plasterbrain__pacman-is-dead.mp3">> <<cacheaudio "laser" "audio/404796__owlstorm__retro-video-game-sfx-laser.mp3">> <<cacheaudio "pacmansong" "audio/521478__gecop__playing-pac-man_01.mp3">> <<cacheaudio "pacman" "audio/521478__gecop__playing-pac-man_chase.mp3">>

<<audio "thunder" volume 1 fadeout>> "I am Willard J Haskell, and I’m here to claim my free one night stay at the hotel." <<timed 0s>> "It’s so nice to have you tonight – to be our honored guest." <<next>>Right, right. I never thought I’d come back to Ames, but I guess the school is trying to wine and dine me. Probably want some money. Maybe I’ll donate a copy of my autobiography “Can You spare a Paradigm” to the library. They might want to do an online exhibit on my career. Something to show the little people what you can accomplish with hard work and brains. <<next>>We do like brains, here, Mr Haskell. You’re in room 116. It’s the Presidential Suite. I’ll show you there." <<next>>[[Let Telson take your bags up for you.|hotel room]] [[Bristle as Telson attempts to take your bags for you, and tighten your grip on your belongings, taking up your bags yourself.|hotel room]] <</timed>>

You are shown to your your room by Telson. "Well, good enough. For one night, anyway. I just need a good, quiet night’s sleep. I hope there’s not a party next door. You know how these poor college kids are – nothing but beer and hormones. The whole campus smells like Clearasil and Axe Body Spray." "Have a good stay, Mr Haskell. I’m sure you will get just what you need tonight." "Can I get some food at least?" you say as your hotel door clicks shut. Guess you're on your own to [[find some nosh.|empty mu]]

Hungry, you walk through an empty MU looking for something to eat. The lights are off. In a hallway leading to the foodcourt is an old arcade game console. As you walk past the game, it lights up and a familiar but not quite recognized voice emanates from the speakers. “Do you want to play a game?” [[Yes|inside the game]] [[No |never-ending loop]]

<img class="imgasbackground" src="img/Mr Telson.jpg"/> An image of Mr Telson appears on screen to Haskell’s astonishment. “Good Evening, Mr Haskell. I am so glad you chose to play. It makes things much simpler.” You look incredulously at the screen, as a sense of dread begins to rise. Suddenly, you feels a tingle in your feet that shoots through your entire body. You are transported inside the arcade game. You are surrounded by darkness but a lone spotlight beams upon your body. “Where am I?” you scream. “Let me out of here!” The disembodied voice of Mr Telson speaks out – “You never should have disrespected the Zodiac all those years ago. For Scorpio, revenge is a dish best served cold.” “Now, let’s play a game, Willard.” “What am I playing for? Something to eat? I’m starving!” “You’re playing for your soul…Willard” “Did you ever play Frogger?” [[“Yes, when I was in college.”|frogger]]

Suddenly, you're is standing on the side of a busy highway. Cars and Semi-Trucks are driving by at high speeds. An electric shock to your derriere causes you to jump out into the roadway. To your left a large truck is approaching. What do you do?! [[Jump forward?|frogger gameover1]] Or, [[step to the right?|frogger right]]

<<audio "gameover" play>> The truck whizzes by from the left, but you're is hit by a school bus driving from the right. Game Over [[Insert coin to continue|hotel room]]

Thankfully, you now have more distance between yourself and the oncoming truck. To your right you see a school bus in the next lane coming from your right. What do you do?! [[Move forward?|frogger gameover2]] Or, [[keep moving right|frogger right2]] to avoid the truck?

You tep right again. The truck from the left is accelerating. The school bus passes by, but a car is right behind it. Does Haskell [[move forward into the path of the car?|frogger gameover3]] Or, [[move right again?|frogger end]]

<<audio "gameover" play>> You are hit by the school bus. Game Over [[Insert coin to continue|hotel room]]

<<audio "gameover" play>> You are hit by the incoming car. Game Over [[Insert coin to continue|hotel room]]

Another truck is approaching. There is nowhere else to move. Game Over? [[Insert coin to continue|space invaders]]

Crouched down in expectation of being hit by the truck, you are again in the dark room with the spotlight. “You’re reflexes have dulled in your old age, Willard.” “How about a nice game of Defender?” “I’m Willard J Haskell! I demand you let me out!” “Don’t forget to kill the aliens and save the humans.” [["Wait. What??"|spaceship]]

You're in the cockpit of a spaceship. An alien is dropping down into your flightpath, while a human is being teleported upward from the ground. Do you [[shoot the alien?|alien]] Or, [[save the human?|rescues human]]

<<audio "laser" play>> You fire your phasers towards the alien and it disintegrates. Pumping your fists into the air you yell, “Greetings form Earth, loser!” And you watch as the human is sucked into another alien spacecraft. “Tough luck, it’s everyman for himself in here." You let humanity suffer – just to save yourself.” <<timed 4s>>A large Alien vessel attacks Haskell’s ship. It disappears. Game Over [[Insert coin to continue|pacman]] <</timed>>

The human is safely aboard your ship. Two more aliens appear, one right ahead, the other below. Do you [[shoot the alien ahead?|alien ahead]] Or [[the one below?|alien below]]

<<audio "pacman" volume 0 fadein loop>> You open your eyes after the explosion and finds youself back in the hallway of the MU. The arcade console is beside you. “Thank Heavens! Maybe it was all a dream, or something…Did I fall and hit my head?” Slowly you gain your composure, but you hear a distant noice coming from the end of the dark hallway. “Waka Waka Waka” It grows louder. “Waka Waka Waka.” You squint your eyes into the darkness of the hallway. Pac Man turns the corner of the hallway and begins racing toward you. You scream. Turn. [[And Run!|running from pacman]]

The alien from below attacks the ship. Game Over [[Insert coin to continue|pacman]]

The alien ahead attacks the ship. Game Over [[Insert coin to continue|pacman]]

“Waka Waka Waka” You run through the foodcourt and finds three options – [[Straight ahead to the stairs leading to the basement|pacman stairs]] [[Right into the bookstore|pacman bookstore]] [[Left into the Market Café.|pacman cafe]]

<<audio "pacman" volume 1 fadeout>> You are now in the basement with the bowling alley. You can go [[into the Bowling Alley|pacman bowling]] or down the hall to the right leading [[to an exit sign.|pacman exit]]

You hear Pac Man coming “Waka Waka Waka”... You attempt to hide but Pac Man is eating everything insight (bowling balls, pins, furniture). You have two options – go through the [[original entrance|pacman original entrance]] or a [[doorway in the far corner of the room.|pacman doorway]]

You turn into the Café. Pac Man is directly behind you. You can [[run down the center aisle|pacman center aisle]] or attempt to [[hide in a refrigerator.|pacman fridge]]

After running to the exit, you see a sign. “You can never leave the MU”. “Waka Waka Waka” Pac Man swallows you whole. Game Over <<audio "pacman" stop>> <<audio "gameover" play>> [[Insert coin to continue|gameover]]

<img class="imgasbackground" src="img/Mr Telson.jpg"/> An image of Mr Telson appears before you. “You are doomed to live inside this video game console until you find someone to take your place.” [[Fast forward several years later...|entrapment]]

You make your way to the top of the stairs and face [[the Market Café.|pacman cafe]]

You head for the doorway. Now, you are in a hallway with restrooms to your left. Running down the hallway you finds yourself back at the entrance of the bowling alley. “Waka Waka Waka” Pac Man swallows you whole. Game Over <<audio "pacman" stop>> <<audio "gameover" play>> [[Insert coin to continue|gameover]]

You nearly slip running into the bookstore. Pac Man is close behind. “Waka Waka Waka.” Cyclone swag is flying around like a tornado behind you. You can head [[straight to the computer sales department|pacman computers]] or [[turn right into the merchandizing section.|pacman merch]]

<<audio "pacman" stop>> There is no place to run or hide, save for an exit door. The door is locked with sign reading “You can never leave the MU.” Pac Man catches up to you and swallows you whole. Game Over <<audio "gameover" play>> [[Insert coin to continue|gameover]]

You run for the clothing apparel and ISU merchandizing. “Waka Waka Waka” You trip and falls into a display of CyScent, a new Body Spray marketed for “Freshmen who don’t like to shower.” You're covered in the body spray. Choaking and gagging you are able to sputter “Oh, the horrors!” as you continue running. “Waka Waka Waka” With Pac Man approaching, you exit the bookstore and are greeted by the dark stairs that [[head for the Basement.|pacman stairs]]

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<<audio "pacman" volume 1 fadeout>> You fling open the door, jump, and closes the door quickly behind you. “Waka Waka Waka” Pac Man passes by the refrigerator without noticing you. You opens the door. You have two choices – [[head down center aisle|pacman center aisle]] or head [[into the bookstore.|pacman bookstore]]

<<audio "pacman" stop>> You slip on a pre-wrapped sandwich and falls to the ground. Pac Man finds you splayed out on the ground and swallows you whole. Game Over <<audio "gameover" play>> [[Insert coin to continue|gameover]]

A student in a Cyclones sweatshirt is walking with a friend into the MU. The friend nudges them, “Don’t forget to put your mask on – it’s the rule.” “Rules are for suckers. There’s no such thing as Zodiac curses, either – I read about it on the internet.” They step directly onto the Scorpio. You watch as they are walking down the hallway towards the foodcourt. An old arcade game console suddenly lights up as the student nears. You say: “Hey kid, wanna play a game?” The End.

<h1 class="intro">Welcome to Mr. Haskell and the ISU Memorial Union.</h1> <h2 class="intro">We hope you enjoy your stay.</h2> A story by Mark Barron Hannah Scates Kettler Lorrie Smith <h2>[[Enter|chatroom]]</h2>

<h1>Many years later....</h1> [[....fast forward....|present-day]]